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This is the perfect knife for post-apocalyptic emergencies

You don't have to die a loser! Fight zombies in utter elegance with this gorgeous piece of titanium-filled wonder.
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You don’t have to die a loser!

With the unbelievably stylish and highly practical MKT Praetorian Ti you can go out fighting like a Roman soldier and at least look cool when they come across what’s left of your remains once they start cleaning up after the global disaster.

This machine of a knife is made from the type of space age materials aliens would want to invade us over. If aliens existed. They don’t, but if they did.

The Praetorian Ti, which requires a large pocket if you’re to lug it around like a pocket knife, you know, for post-apocalyptic emergencies, is fat, heavy and just looking at it makes you hope for some kind of global zombie-producing catastrophe so you can use it to scalp zombies or stab haphazardly into an attacking horde, slicing and dicing your way to a glorious death.

This particular version of the knife comes with a blade made from 3V, which is the equivalent of using a scale from the Leviathan referenced in the book of Job.

These knives are sent to the edge of earth where their handles are dipped in a bowl filled with the sacred sweat of the Taaisian elves, while the blade is sharpened on the fresh teeth of a Zinzi dwarf toddler.

The Ti comes with a 1/4 inch thick blade, which means it can double as an anvil, while the total thickness allows it to double as a four-lane highway for trucks.

This knife is unlike anything ever created this side of Saturn. They’ve still got the creator, Greg Medford, locked up for observation, since what comes out of his factory defies human logic.

For the ultimate in zombie-fighting coolness, get the MKT Praetorian Ti. If you use it as an EDC, you’ll die with your best friend on you.

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